A Die-Hard Swiftie Who Got Struck By Reality Hard

I was in fifth grade when I first heard a Taylor Swift song. I remembered being so unused to hearing a song with such pure unfiltered lyrics. It was as if it was just someone like me, a little girl, singing the song. Not with adulty lyrics about longing for someone’s touch or something. 

It was also unusual because I rarely heard Country music being played on the radio. I remembered seeing a picture of her on a lyric website thinking oh she’s sweet and pretty for a singer. (Because the first singer I ever idolized was Avril Lavigne, and she wasn’t exactly what you’d consider sweet). 

I knew she was special. And a few years later, everybody started to think so, too. I heard her again, this time, with a feel-god, positive love song Love Story and unlike the heartbreaky Teardrops on my Guitar that I first heard. I became obssessed with her. She was one-of-a-kind. As far as I knew, no singer has ever connected with me the way she had. Music video after music video came out and I was hooked. Fearless will always be one of my most treasured albums OF ALL TIME. 

Speak Now was magical. All songs purely written by her. Then she came to tour and I just had to be there. That concert was one of the most fun moments of my life. I felt devoted to her after having seen and heard her perform. She was amazing. 

Red was not different. I loved her music all the same despite people saying it’s pop. Who cares if it’s pop, it’s still Taylor Swift. It’s still her lyrics, her life, her music. I loved seeing her change. I was already in college when she released it. I felt like we were both changing at the same time. 

1989 was something else. It made me admire her so much more. How could someone create something so unbelievably and unexpectedly breathtaking? (And I’m not overexaggerating. That’s how I would put it in to words the first time I heard it)

After three albums, I thought 1989 wouldn’t be as good. I thought it wouldn’t be like her. Especially because Shake It Off was the first single. But I was proven wrong. I didn’t care if it could’ve been named The Harry Styles album, for godssakes. Her music sounded like how you would feel it. I didn’t know she did that but she did. And I didn’t care who the songs were about. If a song was crap, I wouldn’t care for who it’s written for. 

I downloaded a hefty 9 GB worth of video, The 1989 World Tour, that is, from Apple Music, sometime in Christmas. I was still as in awe as I was the first time I saw her perform. I could name my child after her, I could swear it. I knew I’d always be a Swiftie because after all those years, I still admired her. 

When she dated Calvin Harris, I thought she could finally settle down and probably see her with an album about a wedding or something. Maybe it could be the end of the Taylor Swift drama buzz as I’ve also got tired of the media sensationalizing her as a celebrity more than an artist. But no. They broke up. Fine with me. As I said, as long as she wrote good music, I wouldn’t care less about her love life. But then, she dated Tom Hiddleston. WTF?! Where the fuck did Loki come from? hebddnebwiwiedjanw? Was that supposed to be a joke?

Her 2016 album would probably still amaze the fuck out of me. Or maybe not. But I felt like I’d been hitting my head on a concrete wall for more than a decade and I just felt the concussion ten years later. I have no idea what kind of PR stunt she is pulling off. But what the hell? 

She actually has some real talent and I just don’t get why she has to release all this bullshit publicity. Oh, I know: sales.  The Squad is also becoming so old. Makes me think about fake and fleeting friendships in high school.

So I thought about it and realized I’ve always been right. Taylor and I have been growing together, changing together. Indeed! I already finished college. She’s doing her own thing. She’s doing what a 26 year-old millionnaire can do! Dating hot men and earning millions both at the same time. I’m writing about her now because she’s successful as fuck!

I started out as a girl who looked up so much to her, thinking she’s the girl I want to be like: sweet, musically genius and smart. Damn right, she is all of those things. Now, I am one of those people who cringes whenever I see her in that short stick-straight platinum blond hair. At least now I know I’m growing up. I could never be a sweet girl anyway. 


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